Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
