and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
