I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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