do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
