He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
