I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
