we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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