I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
