Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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