It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
