I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
