out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
