im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Boobs are out for the taking
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
