You work out of a Hotel?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
