the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
jump out the window naked night went bad
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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