im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Randomize
