I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
