You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
