i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This is my gift to your gina
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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