She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
