I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize