names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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