I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
