hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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