I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
