woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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