last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
