eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
