Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
