I want to stick my p in your. b.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
God, I missed his penis.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
