Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
