Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
