do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
