Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
