Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
