I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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