My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
