like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
