question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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