god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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