Fuck appropriateness.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
