the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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