4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Randomize
