i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
