Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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