I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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