we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
