oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
