Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You need a sexual gate keeper
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
