Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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