if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
