yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
