i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
