So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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