the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize