Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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