fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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