He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
