I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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