Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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