i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
