At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
