Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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